Friday, January 06, 2012

Personal Reflections From Bavaria

The following are fragments from personal reflections while I was in Germany this past weekend. 

By Der Kosmonaut
Holzhausen, Germany
31 December 2011

I'm writing this from a remote village in Southeastern Bavaria Germany. Actually, there's a limit to its remoteness. I'm sitting in an old cattle pen which has been converted into a house with limited and slow dial up Internet connection. The closest big city is Landshut which only has a population of 150,000. The next big town is a 15 minute drive away. There's no mobile phone service. If I need to communicate with the outside world there is a telephone landline available. I'm still in an advanced industrial country. There's a nuclear power plant about 20 miles away. My hosts have assured me that this house is sheltered in the event of a meltdown since the wind would blow the radiation away from here. It's fascinating how deluded people's thinking can be. Another indicator that I'm not isolated is the frequent sight and sounds of jets making their landing approaches to Salzburg airport.

It's December 31, 2011. 2011 has certainly been one HELL of a year both for the world and myself personally. It's been a year of global upheaval with insurrections, revolutions, counter-revolution and repression. 2011 marked my return to the West after two years living in Serbia where I was really disconnected from most of the world. In Serbia, my only connection to the West consisted of the Internet and regular correspondence with my friends. I returned to the West in April, first in Slovenia and then back in Vienna. In Serbia I had almost forgotten about racism until it slapped me repeatedly in the face both in Slovenia and Vienna. Moreover, I realized how much I had changed in Serbia.

It's neither so important nor interesting to highlight my initial revulsion of Western society upon my return. I have written enough about it on my blog. Read thisthis and this. What prevented me from completely writing the West off was encountering a group of sincere and serious young people in Vienna who were keen on changing society. My participation in various occupations, protests and squatting actions saved my life both personally and socially. There were many points of debate and intellectual clashes with individuals but unlike most people, their level of intellectual degeneration was not in such an advanced state of decay.

After many years absence of writing poetry, the muse came back with force. I wrote my first serious German poem. I also wrote “Understand Aufstand In Every Land” which is, in my personal opinion, my best poem since “Posters and Bulletins”. I also made important breakthroughs as a political philosopher and analyst. I have my experience in Serbia to thank for that. I'm also grateful to my personal acquaintance with Duci Simonovic for expunging the defects of my Westernized thinking and mindset which gave me the clarity lacking among most Western thinkers and political activists.

This year has also seen the transformation of this blog from personal musings and opinions into a multi-media portal featuring music, videos and articles from me and from others. My readership has grown, though the blog has been for all intents and purposes blacklisted both from Google and Alexa. More about that below.

I learnt some bitter and hard lessons this year regarding propaganda. I was duped into believing that the rebellion in Libya was real and into repeating the sordid lies of Gaddafi being a “mad man” killing his own people. That remains not only my biggest political mistake but also the most embarrassing display of my own personal gullibility. I'm terribly ashamed of myself. Though I played no direct and personal role in the destruction of Libya and the murder of Gaddafi, I still bear personal responsibility for relaying false propaganda. I do have blood on my hands. If I could do it over, I would. This is something which I will have to live with on my conscious for the rest of my life. Not enough apologies can undo the damage I helped in my own small part to play. I owe personal apologies to Webster Tarpley and William Engdahl for attacking them when they were correct in stating that the revolutions in Libya were staged by Western imperialism. They actually had the political insight to see what I could not until it was too late.
Ever get the feeling you've been had? 2011 was such a year for me. On this blog, I had promoted some of the most wretched liars, fakers and ridiculous people. The worst being Amy Goodman of Democracy Now. I had long considered Amy to be the best broadcast journalist in North America. It hurt all the more since I knew Goodman personally from my days as a volunteer at WBAI Radio in New York. I had long considered Goodman to be the personification of journalistic integrity. However, when Democracy Now had provided propaganda cover to the reactionary rebels in Libya and had promoted the war, I felt betrayed. Democracy Now played down and barely reported the racist genocide of Black Libyans at the hands of the rebels. Democracy Now had become just another cheerleader of imperialism and racism. In disgust, I stopped listening to the program. The poison in the icing on the cake came from a piece written by John Pilger which revealed how Democracy Now is funded by a billionaire functionary of the Democratic Party who censored Pilger's documentary from being screened in the US. The Fourth International is completely correct how it describes middle class ex-radicals and liberals not only as defenders of empire but even worse: people such as Amy Goodman, Christopher Hitchens and Noam Chomsky do not possess an ounce of intellectual not to mention moral principles. They have obtained comfortable positions under American totalitarian capitalism by posing as critics. In fact, they serve a more sinister purpose. They play the following roles: They uncover just enough information about the crimes of the American state in order to attract a large following. Just like Emmanuel Goldstein and The Brotherhood in Orwell's 1984, they expose the lies of Big Brother (Uncle Sam) simply in order to entrap the questioning masses into a trap. So far, unlike the fictitious Emmanuel Goldstein, Goodman, Chomsky and Alex Jones aren't agents of the state to entrap people to be tortured. Rather, they serve to make the masses impotent under the unrelenting assault of totalitarian capitalism.

Earlier in the year, I featured Max Keiser quite prominently on this blog. I used to embed his twice weekly Russia Today TV broadcast and his weekly radio broadcast on my blog. I too bought into his “Buy Silver” campaign. I liked Keiser's unorthodox style of broadcasting. I agreed with his analysis of the dictatorship of finance capital. Though I disagreed with his support for capitalism, I overlooked that simply because as a former stock broker and trader on Wall Street, Keiser knows more about the manipulation of the stock and financial markets more than any other critical broadcaster. The major weakness of the so-called “anti-capitalist” Left is their utter ignorance and lack of understanding of economics. Keiser de-mystified the pseudo-science of Economics and exposed the fraudulent nature of the official religion of neo-Liberal economics. Then one day I was browsing his homepage and made two unpleasant discoveries. The first discovery was an advertisement for Hugo Boss on his homepage. It featured a photograph of Keiser wearing sunglasses in front of a line of riot police with the text: “Occupy In Style”. The second discovery was Keiser selling silver coins with his likeness on them. This revealed to me not only his oversized ego but that he was simply attempting to capitalize on the crisis of totalitarian capitalism and to make money off people who are disgusted and more importantly the upper middle class social layers worried about their financial health. Keiser is simply just another (petit)bourgeois white man out to exploit the masses. I not only stopped embedding his broadcasts on my blog but stopped watching him all together. (I later gained proof that he was a parasite as he attempted to make money off this blog at my expense.) I refuse to promote any capitalist parasites on my blog.

Gerald Celente was another well known dissident I had featured on my blog. Like Keiser, Celente was another promoter of capitalism. He was a proponent of “ethical capitalism”. I also disagreed with many of his opinions but not wanting to be sectarian, I liked his New Yorker Wise Guy mentality from The Bronx. However, when Celente went on reactionary rants, I got turned off. Fame got to his head and he became repetitive. Rather than providing any new insights, he simply became Mr. Big Mouth. While Keiser peddled silver, Celente peddled gold. He warned of currency collapse and told his audience that they better get into precious metals. Just a couple of months ago, Celente's gold investments were stolen by MF Global. For the past two months, Celente only talks about his “six figures” being stolen. While his anger was understandable, rather than seeing a righteous anger, I simply saw another petit-bourgeois white man angry that he got screwed. More recently, Celente has been comparing himself to Jesus Christ. Celente will turn into a Blackshirt within a couple of years.

With the preceding examples, my trust in other journalists and so-called “experts” evaporated. I don't trust any news or information sources. My cynicism has reached new highs (lows?). I got burnt severely and have been made a jackass out of. Hee haw! Hee haw! Hee haw! Hee haw! Never again will that happen to me.

Though I was only away from the West for 2 years, I've often felt like Rip Van Winkle who had woken up after a twenty year long sleep. The West had changed dramatically while I was away. In a cafe in Ljubljana, Slovenia I read an issue of Wallpaper magazine. I was astonished to discover what the latest trends were. For a moment I thought I had become illiterate in English. There were so many new terms in fashion and dining. Nonetheless, I absorbed the information to reorientate myself to the West. Upon my return to Vienna, I knew something was amiss. Not only was the city more reactionary and hateful but it was obvious that there was a petit-bourgeois social and political dictatorship over Vienna. It took me some while to remember my German but there were new words that I had never heard of before. The newest and most common word I heard was “Bobo”. I learnt that Bobo is a new term from 2009 to describe yuppies. Starting in the summer of 2009, many new yuppie venues opened in Vienna. The Danube Canal, particularly around Schwedenplatz transformed into a series of “beaches”. These were nothing less than overpriced bars which names such as Tel-Aviv which had added deck chairs and sand to simulate the Mediterranean coast in the middle of an inland metropolis. The patrons were a new capitalistically degenerated class of yuppies named Bobos.

The biggest shock was yet to come. The advancement of Queer Feminism had reached new heights. I discovered new terms such as Heterosexualism and Heteronormality. Most likely these terms had existed for years but had remained within the subculture of Queer Feminist circles. But in 2011 these terms had surfaced to the mainstream and were now part of the lexicon of political discourse. In Serbia, I had many discussions about homosexuality in the West. Serbs that have travelled or lived in the West believed that homosexuality was being pushed not only as a normal way of living but also as a majority way of living. I thought this view was a bit exaggerated but was confirmed upon my return to the West.

I raised a few eyebrows with my defense of Serbia and the Serbs. It was incredible how successful the anti-Serb propaganda was in the West. Almost no one knew anything about Yugoslavia. They simply assumed that as a Communist country, Yugoslavia was the same as the USSR and the Stalinist countries. When I refuted the lies about Milosevic and denied that there really wasn't any genocide which took place at the hands of the Serbs, Westerners looked at me askance.

As 2011 comes to an end, there are certain indelible facts. The most important is my political isolation. My political views are in opposition to 99% of the Western population but are more aligned with about 85% of the Serbs. Indeed, the so-called “far right” Serb Nationalist perspective is more aligned with my political outlook. I'm in 85% agreement with Serb Nationalists. Whereas I'm only about 40% agreement with Western Leftists. It's rather remarkable how aware Serb Nationalists are about the real nature of Western imperialism and fascism. It's not by accident that most Western leftists supported the NATO aggression in Libya whereas all the Serbs knew it was a lie from the very start. Why? The same propaganda used against Serbia was used against Gaddafi. In many ways, I support Milosevic because he was a victim of Western propaganda and imperialism. Milosevic was neither a fascist, Nazi nor a dictator. It was Milosevic that introduced multi-party democracy in Yugoslavia. In fact, that was one of his first acts as President. Since when does a dictator get elected and one of his first acts is to introduce multi-party democracy? If Milosevic was a fascist nationalist as the propaganda says he was, why did he create one of the loosest and most liberal immigration laws in the world. Thanks to Milosevic, anyone can become a Serb citizen regardless of race, nationality, religion and language. Since when do far right wing nationalists loosen immigration laws. In the West, right wing nationalists restrict immigration and make citizenship practically impossible for foreigners. Perhaps what was most ironic is that I disagree with the vast majority of Serb “leftists”. The Serb nationalists are really anti-fascist, anti-NATO, anti-EU and anti-imperialist. Whereas the Serb “leftist” liberals are pro-capitalism, pro-EU, pro-NATO and pro-Western.

The Occupy Wall Street movement in North America vindicated my analysis made in my three part series “Left For Dead”. Having been too enthusiastic about the “Arab Spring” and being burnt by it, I kept quiet and observed it from afar here in Vienna. With the notable exception of Oakland, California, the Occupy Movement has been a first class disaster. What is most evident is that the racial divisions in North America are too wide to overcome. It simply isn't possible for Blacks and whites to unify and organize together to bring down totalitarian capitalism. This is why Blacks have found it necessary to organize separately. This development can only lead to one of two possible results. The first result is that totalitarian capitalism will prevail and Americans will find themselves living under a concentration camp system. The second result will be civil war which will take the shape of a race war. With either result, the United States of America as a Liberal Democratic Republic is dead forever.

In Europe, I see the racial divisions deep there but different from the USA. In Austria, the radical left sides with Zionism. There is too much concern about “anti-Semetism”. It's striking how diametrically opposed are the North American from the European left on the Israel-Palestine conflict and on Zionism. In North America, the Left is firmly anti-Israel and anti-Zionist. I found myself having a sharp debate with an Austrian woman on this topic. I explained to her how the charge of “Anti-Semetism” is used in North America as a tool to silence the left and any opposition to Zionism and imperialism. Moreover, the history of Jews in the US is obviously different than that of Europe. Moreover, what Europeans simply cannot grasp is how over the past 20 years, many Jews in both the US and Canada have aligned themselves politically with the far-right. Over and over again, North American Jews have given their political support to far-right politicians such as Rudy Guiliani, George W. Bush and most recently Stephen Harper in Canada. Moreover, there is the undeniable fact that so many North American Jews support racism and racist politics. The reason why there is so much hostility to Jews by Black Americans stems from the objective material facts that Jews exploit Blacks and Latinos and practice discriminatory policies against people of colour. It's wrong to say that all Jews are right wing fascists. Many North American Jews are in opposition to Zionism, imperialism and war. Many North American Jews are serious anti-racists. Note however, how they themselves are maligned and attacked as being “self hating Jews”. Norman Finkelstein can attest to this fact. Europeans are unaware of this political and social reality.

The Western Left has developed totalitarian thinking. Anyone that questions the dogmas of Queer Feminism and Zionism runs the risk of being labeled and denounced as “homophobic”, “sexist” and “anti-Semite”. However, I refuse to be cowed in conformity. As a free thinking, educated, well read and well travelled man of nearly 40 years of age I'm free to have an opinion. My father once said: “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one.”

At the end of 2011, I have a very clear perspective of who I am. I know my character strengths and flaws. I know my possibilities and my limitations. I'm no longer an inexperienced kid. I've lived a full and rich life in my 39 years than most people live in 80 years. Very few people in the West can teach me things I already don't know. What bristles me more than anything is when people who don't know me tell me what and who I am. I have found too many Europeans projecting, nay imposing an identity on me. People project what they think I am on me. No one can tell me anything about myself. Unlike the majority of confused Westerners, I don't suffer from an identity crisis. Moreover, I really resent arrogant and ignorant white Westerners telling me who they think I am. No white person can tell me what to do or how to think. No white person can give me advice on how to live my life.

I have spent the past 20 years living as a non-conformist bohemian poet. I was very likely born too late. From the 1950s until the early 1990s, it was possible to live a bohemian lifestyle. Today it's very difficult. The pressure to conform is enormous. At the threshold of 40, I have no money, no career, no assets, no property. I find myself associating with people nearly 20 years younger than me. The reason is that most people my age are married or have children and have jobs and professions. By contemporary standards I'm a loser. Most people my age are boring. They have settled into the system. It would be nice to have close friends and lovers my age but I hardly know anyone my age who lives as a bohemian poet. I will never marry nor will I ever have children. It's not because I'm homosexual but rather there's no reason for me to marry or have children. In the first place, I don't want to bring children into this wretched world. In the final analysis, I refuse to have children because I want to be responsible. I simply don't have the wherewithal to be a good parent. A child needs to have a decent father in their life to raise them. I can barely take care of myself. Unless I become rich, which is most improbable, I'm simply unable to provide the basic necessities that a child needs to grow up healthy.

2012 promises to be a trying year both for the world and for myself personally. I have no idea how I will survive the coming year. I do not have a work or residency permit for the EU. Hence I have no source of income. Returning to the United States is out of the question. Nearly half of the population is poor and impoverished. At least in Vienna I can always eat. It's an open question if I can continue to maintain this blog. I have put considerable time, effort and dedication into this blog in 2011. Unfortunately, this blog provides no income.

There is another consideration on whether to continue this blog or not. No one reads this blog despite it having more information than most of the mainstream media outlets. My principal audience is in Russia, particularly the Kremlin. Apart from a few friends and those that stumble upon the blog accidentally, no one reads it. Even if I had a larger readership, I fear that I will become like Gary Null. People will read my blog but no one will act upon the information provided to make any effective political or social change.

Then there's the matter of censorship. 2011 has been a record year of readers in my blog. Alexa is the official internet traffic ratings agency. In March, this blog was ranked at 1.3 million. A popular website is one that is ranked under 1 million. October and November had more hits than the previous peak in March. Yet, according to Alexa my blog has no readership. Blogger provides a tool which reveals how many page views I have per hour, day, week, month and year. The stats show that I have many readers, yet Alexa reports that no one reads the blog. This is simply a case of censorship. Google has been attempting to censor me since 2009. Up until April of 2011, a Google search of “Der Kosmonaut” produced 5 consecutive pages of links to this blog and other pages. Today a search of “Der Kosmonaut” produces only one link to this blog. Pages 2-9 have no listing of me. Then from page 10 one may find an occasional site about me.There is no doubt that censoship is imposed on this blog. 

Labels: , , , , , ,


Post a comment

<< Home